Being sick sucks. majorly.

Random thought thing:

You think that you know me inside and out but if you really did you wouldn't treat me the way you do. You don't know how i feel no matter how much you think you do. You cant possibly understand what is going on inside my head when even i don't most of the time. Instead you think that everything in my life is trivial and i need to stop freaking out over the little things. Honestly i would like to see you try and deal with what i have to everyday. Its not just my so called "obsession" as you put it, its things you don't even know about but i know if i try and tell you you'll just think I'm being over dramatic and that i don't really feel like that. Even if you read this, all you would do is shake your head and tell me that my problems are nothing compared to what you go through everyday. That i have no idea what the real world like. Ive been trying to make an effort to stop the fighting but the only way i can think to do that is to not share my opinion about what i feel everyday and to stop telling you about my life. If that's what you want. Fine. We wont fight any more but you wont even know me.


I appreciate that you treat me like what I'm feeling matters. That maybe there's some truth in what i say, and that you try to take my side in some arguments even though you know its just going to get her mad at both of us. I know that you're trying to understand even if you don't agree with some of my opinions on the situation. So thank you. Without you my life really would be hell. You show be that i need to just relax and try and have fun every once in a while. I know that you don't realize what you mean to me, but if it wasn't for you i don't know what I'd do.

i want to know your honest feelings toward me. I may be taking it the wrong way but i really think its more than you let on. You say things that make me question if your hanging out with me holding on to the hope that it could someday be something more. and I'm sorry but that's not going to happen. I'm taken, but you know that. And if i am reading into it way too much than your just really creepy, you shouldn't say that stuff to people.

You've been there through it all and i know that i can count on you to drop everything and talk to me or come get me if i end up in a ditch somewhere. Your more than my friend. Your my sister. We don't talk everyday anymore or even every week but your always going to be a part of my life. I know i can totally be myself around you and I'm not afraid to tell you whats on my mind cause i know you wont judge me. You've been the constant in my life through all this shit. The one person that i know will be there. Your pretty amazing. Lovee you lots.

You are the only person in this world that knows everything about me. The one person that i completely trust. The only person who can make me feel better when I'm down. You actually make me feel good about myself. The reason i haven't done somethings i shouldn't even be thinking about. You make me happy everyday, bring a smile to my face that's actually an honest I'm happy smile. According to my dad my face lights up every time i open my phone and read a text. The way you look at me, like there isn't any thing in the world you'd rather be doing, like i actually matter, baby that look, i can't even describe how it makes me feel. Something i haven't felt in a really long time. Self worth. You make me into the best person i can be. I cant help but smile when I'm around you. Your the best thing that's ever happened to me and i plan on holding on to you forever. I love you beautiful. More than life itself.