Intense.

Constant
Overwhelming
I cant escape it..
I dont want to. Do I?

This.

I've never felt more pain.. or joy.
I've never loved... or hated.. this much.


I cant escape
this feeling of regret
and guilt

but if i had to do it over i know in my heart... I wouldn't change a thing.

Mona your the besttt :D

Need i say more?

10.17.09 <3

Todayy is 10.17.09. Can you believe it? One whole year :)
I love you with all my heart.
You complete me.
You see how happy i look in that picture? No one can do that except you.
Baby you know me better than anyone else and yet you haven't turned your back on me. You know the real me and are still standing by my side. You let me pour out my heart and cry on your shoulder. You hold me close and kiss me soft.
You are my forever.


Last night:

Was pretty damn amazing.
It was one on my all time favorite nights.

When we were sitting outside just talking, it was really nice. You guys are the closest friends I've ever had. You both mean so much to me. I'm glad you were able to talk to us about it. You needed it.

It was so amazing to have my arm around you or lean on your shoulder.. or have your arm around me or you leaning on my shoulder. To just be with you. To feel like I belong.

And being alone with you... i don't have to tell you how incredible that was. You were there. Just thinking about it turns me on. We still have to talk about it later :D


All in all last night was one of the best nights of my life. All thanks to you. <3

You are my forever beautiful. I love you more than you can imagine.


and I'm going to do another one later.. but it'll probly be in an email.

Damn fast cars are hott

well more like the person driving...

Random ppl thing:

U think u kno me so goddamn well wen u rele have no clue. Try being me for a day, let's see how u handle it. I don't have the energy to fight all the time. I can't take it. Yet I can't let u win. It's not programed in me to just accept it and move on. Il put up with ur bullshit. But don't expect me to agree to things that are completly wrong. Please? I really can't take much more of this.

Whoever the fuck you are, go to hell. You don't even deserve that. Your a fucking worthless piece of shit.

I lovee you more than you can imagine babe

You try to tell me how to handle it but for some reason I can't seem to do it.

You can be an asshole sometimes but you need someone so I'll b there.

Are you ok? You don't seem ok. I miss u we never hang out or have fun or even talk anymore. I used to threaten to beat people up of they messed with you now it's more likely that someone else's older sibling will be beating you up. What happened to my amazing brother that cared about how he treated other people more than how many girls he could get. I want him back.

I'm craving you after that conversation

You are a really amazing friend.. Your loyal as hell and I'm pretty sure u'd b the one who'd help me bury a body.. Or be there at 3 am of I end up drunk somewhere

You made me cry on English today.. I've been there and I know how hard it was to stand up there and do that.

Your turning into one of my really good friends.

If only you relize how much what your doing hurts me.. Then again I'm worthless in your eyes so why would you care.

I miss our long talks about everything and anything. Laffing untill it hurts. Staying up untill six in the morning. Doing nothing except laying together. I miss you.

I wanted my project to be better. I wanted to be emotional and try to make everyone understand. I wanted you to feel the pain I felt. I wanted it to be real.

I think that's it for now.