I can't do this.

FUCK EVERYTHING.
My heart can't handle this.
I gave you everything. I put my entire existence into that relationship. I gave you everything I have to offer. I ripped my heart from my chest and put in your hands. I bled for you. I cried for you. I stayed up all night listening to you cry and I stayed up all night scared for your life. I grew up with you. You made me into who I am. You are were my entire life. I have no idea how to do this without you. I have no idea how to function without you. But I know that I have to try and get over you because you convinced me that you actually mean it. That I'm not going to wake up from this nightmare and you're not going to look at me pull me aside and tell me that you love me and you can't do this without me either.
No.
You actually don't love me anymore.
I always thought that love lasts through anything. If it's real. And true. And honest. And I swear I felt that. I saw it in your eyes when you looked at me and confessed everything. When you were all nervous and kissed me on the cheek and whispered it to me for the first time. I KNOW IT WAS REAL. But how can it be? If you just stopped feeling it. I wish it was something I did. Then at least I'd have a reason. I wish I had someone to blame. I wish I could stop fucking needing you. I wish your texts weren't so cold and hard. I wish that I could just curl up in your arms and you'd make everything okay. What do you do when the only person who can make you feel better doesn't want anything to do with you anymore. Okay thats a lie. But it feels like it. Do you want me in your life just because you don't know how to not have me in your life? Is it because you love need want me? Is it because you I've always been there?

I still have to do that research paper.

And I can't take much more of this not even looking at eachother stuff. But I don't know if I can handle talking to you either.

I wish I could back and figure out how to fix this.