Sicksicksicksick

The subject has been pretty much off limits in my posts because I'm pretty sure you both know how I feel about it. But it's been eating away at me more and more lately. It takes pretty much everything in me to not breakdown when you talk about it, both of you. I kind of want to save the world... and you guys are my world. Despite how lame and cliche that sounds it's the truth. Both of you mean the entire world to me and watching this happen and not being able to do a single thing about it is absolutely ripping me apart. Babe I know I told you all of this but I've never really said it to Miranda... recently anyway. So there it is. I thought it should be out there.

I miss school. It seems like it's been years since I've been there.

I fight with my mom a lot less now, but i think that's mostly because I keep pretty much anything that has any importance from her now. Importance isn't really the right word... it's more like anything that is remotely concerning to me. That I'm dealing with or going through or whatever. It's just easier this way. I don't have to deal with her asking me if I'm okay every five minutes and the sympathetic hugs from my dad. I have avoided doctors pretty well for the most part. That somehow never happened, thanks state insurance, I owe you one. No medication. Nothing. It almost makes me feel like I'm not crazy. HA. If only.

The words are swimming now, I've been sitting for way too long.