These are the times when I scream and punch a wall. Over and over... praying to feel my bones break. I feel so helpless. In all of this. The only thing I care about... the only thing I've ever cared about is people. You think I'm just saying that I'd jump in front of a fucking truck for you. You broke through all my defenses... you were the first person I confessed it all too. Now I'm here screaming my lungs out and crying till it hurts because I don't know what to do. I never do.
I want to cut until there's nothing left to cut.
I want to jump out my window onto my driveway and break every bone in my body.
I want to drink until everything goes numb.
I want to get in a car and drive away from this.
I want to feel the metal against my skin.
I want to feel it sting and burn like I haven't in so long.
I want to go back to cutting my mouth because that's better than nothing.
I want to give you one last kiss and drive as fast as that car will go into a ditch.
I want everything to stop hurting.
I want to hit and hit... blood all over the bricks.
I want this all to be over.
1 comment:
the only things perpetuating this are you
and her
and them
and everyone you've ever cared about.
do you really want it to end?
or do you want to win?
Please stop hurting yourself,
and if not for God's sake then for yours hers mine
keep her safe.
Hold her close.
Don't let go.
I know you can do this Jocelyn.
You're stronger than you think.
Post a Comment