But now I need you more than I ever have before. And theres even less of a chance of me getting that now. Baby I need you to hold me and tell me that everythings going to be okay. To tell me that we're all going to get through this and that I can put down the knife. I need you to kiss me and tell me that you love me. I need you kiss my forehead and run your fingers through my hair. I need you. So fucking bad. And knowing that I cant have you hurts more than all of this combined.
I got lost in the music today. I've missed that feeling, it hasnt happened in a while. I was able to feel and cry and not touch the blade.
Going to the doctors yesterday super scared me. I was there to discuss my mental health and prove that I was okay and such and what was I hiding under my shirt? Evidence that everything that I was saying was a lie.
Doctor: "Have you ever had any problems with cutting?"
Me:"No" (thinking) I already scanned this room for sharp objects, decided that there was no way that I could take one without my dad noticing and resorted to the pushpin in my side instead.
...I'm such a fucking hypocrite.
You guys are the only thing keeping me here. I love you with everything that I am <3
1 comment:
DONT CUT YOURSELF :(
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