My head hurts so bad. I feel like I'm going to puke from the pain. My mind wont stop racing. I can feel the anxiety coming on in unbearable amounts. I don't know who to call. I need you to calm me down. I know you have to get up in the morning... in a few hours really... and I know I'm not your problem anymore. So I wont call you. I don't have anyone to call instead. You are the only person who knows me through and through. My chest feels like its going to collapse and I swear my head is going to explode.
I finished reading Deathly Hallows tonight... I couldn't help but cry during the prince's tale yet again. It's much more vivid now that I've seen it in movie form. Felt Snape's love for Lilly. I don't even care that it is fucking fictional. He loved her his whole fucking life. Even though she didn't love him. He died for that love.
God I love you. I keep trying and trying to turn it off. I know that you don't love me. I know that you are better off now and happier. I just wish my heart would realize that. I can't make it listen to me. I don't know what to do without you. I love you with every part of me. I have since I was 12. I feel like I'm going to puke.
I hate this fucking anxiety.
Make it stop.
Please. God.
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