I've been trying so hard to fight, to resist. I tell my self over and over that I don't care, that it doesn't matter. But I let you hurt me. No matter how hard I try to prevent it. I fucking hate being looked down on. All I want to do is make her happy and instead of seeing that you destroy me. I almost let myself ruin everything. I almost let you do that to me. If I ever let myself feel that again, it's going to be for me. Not for you.
It's constant. Making it impossible to ignore, impossible to fight.
I can only take so much.
I want school so fucking bad. I need it. I need the escape. I'm trapped here,dwelling in all this shit. Almost there. I'm almost there.
I missed you. And you. I'm so glad to have you both back.
I think I have unrealistically high expectations for this school year. I'm constantly setting myself up for disappointment. You'd think I'd learn.
Look I blogged, happy now? <3
Baby I hope you feel better. I hate that you're sick and I can't do anything to make you feel better. I will someday my love, I promise. When we get out of here and it can just be us again <3
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