Done.

Jocelyn Brearley

Okay. I feel like I need to get it all out in the open. I feel like we should talk about it. Even if its just you telling me that there's nothing there. So here goes nothing.

I like you. Too much for my own good. And most of the time it feels like you're right there with me. Leaning against me at bbc and making bets about kissing me. You get all cute about things that make me forget that we aren't actually dating. Like when i wore your chef coat and you got all super smiley and told me that i looked good in it. It was like the cutest thing ever.

So. I need you to tell me that there isnt anything there. That I'm making it all up in my head. Unless I'm not.

And I don't wanna fuck up our friendship with this. But I care about you too much to not try. You know?

Is any of this making sense?

Kayla L Kindred

yah it is hard watching that, it is making sense, you are like my best friend and to an extent i was trying to get your mind off of Ana, but then i realised last night that that is never going to happen with her texting you, i promised myself when you left that i would stop doing that to you because it is not fair, your not making it up, you did look cute in my chef coat, i cant help flirting and acting cute, its what i do, and who i am... i wish it wasn't, and i also dont wanna ruin out friendship over it.

like i said above, it makes sense, and i am sorry, i too care about you, and i do hope you feel better.


Jocelyn Brearley

I'm over Ana. She'll always mean a lot to me. But I'm not in love with her anymore. I get that you can't help it.. I mean I flirt too... but its just been like on overdrive with us lately you know?

Kayla L Kindred

yah, i am toning it down... i feel so bad for doing that to you though


Jocelyn Brearley

Its not like i wasn't doing it too. I have a problem with falling for my friends. Don't feel bad. Its my fault not yours.


Kayla L Kindred

alright. did you know that the mtv music awards are on tonight

I can't post about the thing thats actually on my mind so I'll talk about this one instead.

It used to be just because it was fun, cause you were cute and I wanted to see if i could get you to make out with me. But now... I can't stop thinking about you.

You know that I'm falling. I told you. Your move.

This shit is getting bad.

Kayla L Kindred

haha, do it!!! lol, i am going to bed though, i have til seventh to do that packet. night night boo bear!! :)

sweet dreams

♥

Jocelyn Brearley

jealousss i have till firsttt. Nighty night babygirllllllll :) sweet dreams ♥

Her

This is turning into a full blown crush. Like quickly.
Just when I think that I have no chance you do something that makes me forget we aren't already dating.
You. were. so. damn. cute. today.
Kissing my finger and whatnot. With that shy smile.

But I know that I shouldn't let myself crush this hard. I know that nothing is going to happen. Grahhh. I just can't help it.

asdfghjkl;

I have a problem

With crushing on my friends.

But I mean all she does is give me mixed signalssssss.

"You would make a cute lion"

You are so confusing.

You were super flirty last night. Like... more than you ever have been... minus like that one week when you admitted you were into me. But yeah. You were completely aware of how bad you were turning me on. I could see it all over your face.

And sometimes you would slip up and call me cute and then change the subject really fast.

You only go so far. Once shit starts getting real you always remember to drop in a comment about a hot guy or something.

You know that I can't help but flirt back. Especially when you act so fucking cute when I do.

Betting me a kiss was turning it up a notch though. Even though we both know that I won't win. You paused before you said it. Making the decision to go there. Making sure I knew that if it happened you'd go through with it.

You're a tease.
And super cute.. especially late at night when its just us and your voice gets all sleepy.

And even though I know that the chances of you ever actually doing anything are nonexistent, I'll keep hitting on you.
Just because its fun. And a challenge. And I'd hate to just give up and let you win ;)

I have so many fucking things to do.

aklshgkdfghadkl;fghqth/

Stress.

Love,

But are you doing it just because it's easier?
Because there's something really wrong with that.
But maybe you're not. Maybe it was just a phase... maybe I was just a phase. I find that hard to believe. How you can just turn it off like that? It makes it hard to believe that you meant anything you ever told me.

I'm all for it if it is honestly what makes you happy.
I'm happy for you. That everything is going to be easier for you. That you won't have to be ashamed of it.. or hide it or get shit from anyone. I'd kill for that. And if you have that.. really have that and are not just doing it cause it's easier... I'm incredibly happy for you.

Just please... don't do it for the wrong reason. It will catch up with you if you are... and you'll be miserable.

I've told you a million times.
Live your life for you.

You'll always be my first, I'll always love you, and we'll always have something special. But I know that I'll be okay without you.

I hope that you find a way to be happy.